Speaking of Faith

So I have written before about the radio broadcast from American Public Media called Speaking of Faith they have an offshoot program called First Person, Reposessing Virtue, in which they are asking many of their past interviewees for their thoughts on the current economic recession. they also have asked listeners to send in their comments. I wrote in a lengthy statement, which I had posted on this blog, and some time later, they contacted me with an interview request. They asked me to edit my share to about a third, read it on the air, and then answer a few other questions. Of course I was very excited and exceptionally nervous- I have very little practice speaking in public. Fortunately, I had a few days to prepare my answers, and so I was feeling as ready as I could be come interview time. I'll just copy right here the words that I had prepared, and then carry on with my story.

this is my statement, edited:

I'm a potter. I live to make dishes. I love easing the porcelain into shape, the camaraderie and intensity of the firing, gathering veggies from my local farm, and then sitting down to dinner with friends ... to me this is a little revolution. People respond with their hearts to good craftsmanship because it is a human connection that is materialized in the object. The object is communicating: I gave it energy but what it awakens in the user is their own memory and value structure. So I think my work is extremely important in the world today.

It seems like a huge part of our current problem is the lack of human connection across cultures- the system of cause and effect is global, so unless we take the time to really find out, we would have no way of knowing the consequences of our personal actions on the people of other countries. Put a heavyweight on the table: consumption of petroleum products: collectively we fail to connect the hamburger to the wars and decimated ecosystems. We are not given the tools to gain perspective. There is nothing wrong with consumption per se, but who made the product, what materials were used, where did they come from, what are the hidden costs and are they ethical, is there integrity to the chain? Global capitalism rides on the back of cheap, plentiful oil, and that particular commodity is largely used up. I firmly believe that cottage industry is uniquely poised to dig its roots into the crumbling walls of bloated big business.

If we could see how our consumption of energy can be shifted away from the global into the national, the regional, the neighborhood, we can regain the human connection from which stems accountability. Nobody messes in their own nest, and there will be a natural self-righting system in which material resources or supply will inform demand. Big industry can no longer pillage other countries for their resources. Of course that means that consumers have to adjust their demands. And we will inevitably get clever in our innovation. This is where I come in.

My life work has been marginalized by big business. Not only is it impossible for me to compete with the mass-production economics of a factory in China, but the consumer culture ( as a phenomenon created by industry to feed it's greed) has valued the cheap, shiny, trendy and replaceable over the high-quality, sustaining, substantial, and yes, more expensive work of artisans. But there is a growing trend away from walmart's nonsense and towards a much higher quality of life. This trend is coupled with the increasingly relevant fact that we are rapidly running out of resources, so we must make choices with greater awareness. The collapse of our market only illustrates this more conclusively- this is the death blow. I'm excited!

What I'm really talking about is the economy of energy transfer. Good respect. Everybody loves massage, and it shouldn't be a luxury for the wealthy. Massage is the direct transfer of energy from one body to the other (and back). Farming is a step removed into the transfer of nutrients. What I do is a step further removed, I form the container for the transfer of the nutrients. The transfer of physical energy carries with it a transfer of respect energy. CSA farmers tend to really care about what they're doing. Good respect, good nutrients. Monsanto: Bad respect! War in Iraq has ethical ripple effects all over the planet. Industry as a phenomenon isn't at fault, it's when the scale of industry grows to a point where we can't see the effects. When the human connection is lost, and we consumers don't even know the story behind the goods.

I have settled myself into a situation where I live simply, in my studio in progressive Portland, Oregon. My landlady is awesome and let me build a kiln in her garden. It runs primarily on waste vegetable oil. My fuel, for the moment, is free from my local recycling company. My kiln is innovative and efficient in design. It's emissions are nontoxic and it has a battery of permits from the city. My neighbors know me and have no problem. So I am poised to provide the kind of product that speaks to a new paradigm of ethical consumption. Great! Now what?

Well, we're working the kinks out of the system. New kilns have steep learning curves, and mine especially so.. but just as an orchard takes time to fruit, so too does a labor of love. Every day, I learn, teach, write, read, dream. As the ground shifts beneath our feet, new paradigms of leadership open up. I can create this product, but I can also work with others to create the cooperative studio and educational center of my dreams. So many systems in our country seem broken, but never have I felt that the opportunity to change them was open to dirty rebels like me. I can lead workshops, my kiln could be a testing ground for biofuels. In his inaugural address, Obama praised the makers of things. I feel needed! To think that I could enter into an interdisciplinary educational space is exciting and empowering. To know that finally, at the eleventh hour, research into alternate fuels might get some real funding is like rain in the desert. And so the economy of respect converges with the economy of means and hopefully we all feast together

and this is a copy of the Q & A:

1. In what way(s) do you consider this a moral or spiritual crisis?--Of your own? Of our culture's?

My own shift consists now of finding ways to step into new paradigms of leadership and artistic outreach, and somehow relax into the constriction. I had a turning point when I realized that I could not, in a very physical way, continue to consume as I had been. It became uncomfortable under my skin- to think that I lived in country where gluttony was the norm didn't make it right. I traveled a lot, maybe that's how it happened, and I saw how little some people had. Because of the expanding global population and the pressure for the earth's resources, that greed is now assisted by technology and so its exponentially destructive. I can have anything I want, supposedly, but for the longest time, I didn't understand the ramifications of my choices. And it's hard to get that information, so our ignorance isn't entirely our fault--- decimation of ecosystems or how the wars are about control of energy is not hot topic for the national media. in fact, it's too hot- the media is not going to speak truth to power because they are part of the power structure. I don't see some grand evil design, but I do think big business got out of control and now there's a complicated network of opportunists that capitalize on the people's fears, which is horrifying to me. Cases in point are the military and prison industrial complexes. I get this visceral recoiling reaction- and despair.

I think the delusion at work is much greater than consumer culture alone, but senseless consumerism is what I focus on as a person that makes objects. The interesting thing though, is that if we the people could just make a separation from that which drives us to consume in such quantities, it would take the edge off . I think it's completely valid to choose products that reflect an aspect of how I want to show up as a person, but I keep thinking of a snake biting its' tail: at what point do I own the product, and a what point does it own me? It is entirely possible to find products that show off me as my fabulous self, and are also responsible to environment and other cultures, we just need to make that conscious choice. ---screw this dizzying rat race of one-up-manship- the sleekest car, the most bling, the tightest game, the but we all rot and die. we are all fragile and naked. clever marketing conflates commodity with youth, happiness, leisure and meaning, but its nonsense. there is no elixir of life, money is literally immaterial, so what is there? there is the question of how we teach the children, how we treat our neighbors, how we make the little choices that make life on this planet comfortable for all. I call it the economy of respect.

2. What moral and spiritual resources, what virtues, do you bring to approaching it - in your own life, with colleagues at work, in your family, in your religious or other community settings?

I just try to walk my talk- and I'm not perfect- I hate fluorescent lighting, I buy processed clay, I fly around in airplanes. but I have this thing about petroleum. we're past the age of the plentiful oil that has fueled the easy transportation of a global economy and the dominance of suburbia as a viable form of urban planning, and we can't be fighting wars to support those ways of being, it's absurd. So I used to run my truck on waste vegetable oil, and had some great adventures with that. when I moved here, I designed my kiln in such a way that I could take advantage of this particular fuel. It's a great fuel for my purposes- it burns cleanly with low emissions, it requires no pressurization, so it's low risk given the the 2300 degrees I'm firing to, and the icing on the cake is that it's free. so not only do I know I'm significantly reducing my carbon footprint, but I'm also doing my pocketbook a favor. it allows me as a maker more space to experiment and fail but it also allows me to pass along the savings to the customer. so everyone wins.

more broadly, I ride my bike and take the bus. I try to buy local organic and from small businesses or individual craftspeople. I'm a big fan of Community Supported Agriculture. If I need lumber, I make sure it's been sustainably harvested or recycled. I love goodwill, There are lots of those kinds of choices in my area which is part of why I moved here but I think those choices would be widespread around the nation if we voted for them with our wallets.money talks,ya?

3. What are you doing now that is different--how is it different, and why?

for the moment, I'm giving myself more time to read and write, be social with friends and neighbors, look for teaching jobs, tend a garden. I feel like I've been scrambling to make a living as a potter which is kind of like trying to push a string, it's really a ridiculous and archaic proposition-- if all a person wants is something to eat off of, they can get it cheaper at the pottery barn. me- I'm selling a little piece of my soul, the real value of my work is in the nature of the energy behind it, - how do you put a price tag on that? I've been stuck thinking that I have to get my work out through the usual channels of the gallery and art fair, and they still have validity for sure, but pots in that setting are a little out of context. the real context is sustenance, not pedestal art with a capital a. the context is sharing food- these are sturdy everyday dishes, they are both useful and an elegant presentation for the energy that keeps your body moving. the appropriate setting is a table, with bread and wine. It's serviceware, but it's artistic. and art is the first to go in a recession.

So I am looking again at other ideas- I think it would be fun to have a big raucous dinner party and then the guests take my dirty dishes home. maybe a fancy barefoot picnic. My peers and teachers have some great ideas that use the web to it's creative capacity, and I definetly want to expand my web presence. and I have this big dream of a cooperative studio/ residency educational center with sustainability as it's keystone. But I really love cooking and eating and sharing food grown with love. To me, it's right next to interactive art,-- installations that activate with audience participation- handmade pots in general and my pots for sure are really touch-friendly, so as much as I can allow contact between the buyer and the object, that's great. But what I am actually sharing is the message, the respect, embodied in the object. and I dare hope that as people come to value objects created with green technologies, that my work will be more attractive to a wider audience, and I won't have to give it away.

4. What kind of wisdom and leadership are you looking for at this time, close to your life? Where are you finding it?

Democracy Now kicks tail- they help me understand the world. Van Jones is brilliant. I'm looking at people like him who are synthesizing education, environmentalism, and long-term social justice. I'm looking for leaders in education who teach to the whole person, right and left brain, heart and body, in cultural context. I think there is tremendous value in interdisciplinary approaches and taking the class outside of the room. movements like urban farming are timely and exciting, and I keep my ears open for science and teck firms that are working hard on the solutions within alternate energy- geothermal, wind, harnessing the tide and current. In my field, there are wonderful essays in the studio potter, and many of my peers also dream of a shared studio. In the arts, there's a brand- new collaborative MFA program here in town that has enormous potential. Portland hosts the time-based arts festival, and whitebird.org for dance arts- I really gravitate towards the visceral wisdom of interacting bodies: Vancouver's Kidd Pivot and choreographer anouk van dijk. I listen to this broadcast, and Bill Moyers Journal. I read the new yorker, and poetry magazine, and of course, I'm looking pretty hard at my president.


so I am writing now before the interview is to be podcast at the end of this week. I did my best, but it was very difficult for me, and I spent many days afterward lamenting all the ways in which I could have expressed myself more fully and accurately- maybe someday I can be brilliant on the spot, but for now, all the words just fall through the hole in my head. I stammered, I scattered, I felt remarkably incoherent, and I had only one shot. well, so it hurt, and i wish them well turning it into something good.

but i did want to expand on a question that i did not anticipate and that I thought was really excellent. Trent, the web producer, asked me a very specific question that seemed implicit in my writing, but I had not thought of it in such a way- he percieved a new vision, he called it the new american dream. I said something about being poor, which is sort of a distraction from the issue at hand. I'm not even all that poor. I mean, my income from studio and teaching is abismal, but I have my awsome parents behind me until I get on my two feet again (how do you think I ended up in japan). But my choice to poverty is a personal choice, that I made back when I understood that my business model would not fit into the dominant paradigm competitively. but his question was fascinating, he observed, the times are changing- I think thatthe new american dream doesn't have to be anathema to ambition and prosperity at all- we just need to use the resources, material and intellectual, that exist in this country already-- we've shipped all our jobs overseas- if we could recreate american industry with the materials at hand, people in such need of jobs here and now, that's what I'm referring toas a shift of paradigm, on my scale, it's cottage industry, and if others were to assume ethical business models, my operation would be more competitive. I'm ambitions, I'm just not ambitius for money. I want to affect change, be a leader, show a new generation that it's possible to run a small successful business doing something deeply meaninful. my miniscule income is temporary, because I am in that same transition point as the rest.


so this is what I wish I had said. and since this is my blog, I get to say it, though the audience be tiny in comparison. how many of you even made it to the end of this post? hello dear reader! who are you anyway? I'd love to know- neighbors? potters? professors of ethics? hello, everybody out there! I hope you understand that this blog is information about my wacko kiln, but it is also rapidly becoming an exercize in putting myself out there for the world to see, since I struggle with such things... I'd be delighted to read your comments- or feel free to write me directly at my email (on the website- treadlehead (dot)com). much love to you- Careen