Monday, November 21, 2011

no ER for me

I gashed my lower knee today and I'm not going to the hospital. The cut is 1 1/4 by 1/4 inches, so definitely would benefit from stitches, but given that even at 900$ a quarter, blue cross does not pay for ER visits that do not lead to hospitalization, I know what I'd be looking at: I did go, at the urging of my father, to treat a cat bite two years ago, and it cost 600$. Assuming that stitches would be relatively more messy to deal with than a shot in the arm, I can only assume they'd be comperably more expensive.

its only a flesh wound. no tendons or bones. didn't even hurt much

what I did is this: I cleaned the area with antiseptic, applied a large band-aide in such a way as to pull the flesh back together, and then I went back to the attic. I had just started using the orbital sander, having finished with the various belts. I was approaching a difficult area: semi-underneith a low desk, and narrow. I was clearing the cords and such out of the way, with the sander on in my right hand. it made that mild orbital movement that they do, and I let my wrist roll with it, but my knee was too close- the edge bit me just below it. I think I finished moving the cords and then turned off the sander to see how deep it was, surprised to see the sedimentary layers of body.

so I had just been in an excellent conversation with an interesting character in my life, who had described an accident he had had and how he dealt with the situation. I decided to try the same: replay the incident as if the mistake had not been made. thirty times, focusing on recreating it in your mind as having been done correctly. I did. stand up, turn on the sander, crouch over there, approach, mindful, move cords, begin sanding, stand up, return to start. thirty times, and trying, as with meditation, to clear all memory of the accident, to imprint my mind with a new pattern. Eventually, I just kept sanding, and am currently taking a break. (and breaking the new imprint by writing this, I realize!). there is an intermittent mild pain in my leg, but the bleeding stopped almost as soon as it started (and I cleaned it off the floor so my assistant (and I!) doesn't know it ever happened.) right, so, I guess I've wandered into faith healing territory, but we'll see what it looks like in a week. I'll take another picture.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

seasonal princess

still reeling from the meal that I just wolfed down like an existentialist lunges for the light- ...'is it possible that "I" am "alive" and consuming this divine nutriment' was the general sentiment of the past 20 minutes- it was a chunk of coho salmon, seared, with rice, a persimmon, a few fresh figs, and local wine- I thought of the good people in my life and how I would have loved to have them here with a similar plate to share, and I thought of how poignant it is that we all try so hard all the time and yet still, the place where the effort, appreciation, and loved ones come together is so elusive- as if the vast majority of our time as social innovators/ historical preservationists pans out as just (crucial) practice: 2011: you must value and allow 1000 meals composed of ingredients from carbon-responsible sources before you may share one with a friend- wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off....

life... as it shows itself presently... is looking wonder-full